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It's always interesting to me to follow our discussions in my Doctrine and Covenants class, because on the very first day of class, my professor said that he wouldn't be focusing on teaching us how to apply the scriptures in our lives, but rather on the historical context of them. However, as I look through my notes later after class is over, my notes seem to be more similar to the way I would write in my scripture journal--full of thoughts, impressions, and applications to my own life. Sure, I also have the historical context of what we talk about in class, but my teacher is right: once we learn the how's and why's and what's of the historical aspects of the text, applying it becomes that much easier.

Last Tuesday, my notes for the day consisted mostly of these applications--bits of wisdom to help me in my life. I know we actually discussed some of them in class, but I think others of them were just things I decided to jot down. One of the things that I've thought a lot about recently is the idea of being a Sunday-only member of your faith--whether Catholic, Lutheran, Mormon, Jewish, Muslim, or whatever. I guess it basically just comes down to living up to your convictions. We were talking about how in the early days of the church, a lot of people were angry with Joseph Smith for being a prophet who influenced the way they lived their lives on the other days of the week besides just Sunday. I think this is more common than just an issue in the early days of the Latter-day Saints--I think it's present in every religion, all throughout history. I'm certainly guilty of it at times. Though I have very specific, certain things that I believe and I believe in them wholeheartedly, there are times where in the moment I don't want to act like I believe the things I do.

Technically speaking, I believe that being messy isn't a very good thing, that procrastinating is kind of lame, and that it's important to really study the scriptures every day--more than just reading them. However, I am sitting in a messy room, I procrastinated beginning my homework for quite a while earlier tonight, and I haven't studied scriptures yet today. So why do I do this?

I'm not perfect. I mess up. I don't always live up to my convictions. And you know, even though I believe very strongly in the values and standards that my church espouses, just like those early Latter-day Saints, I too have a hard time living them every day of the week. I guess that's why I'm here. I have to learn to do the best I can with what I have. I need to learn to live my religion seven days a week, as best as I possibly can. Even though I mess up, I'll just keep trying. Though the early Saints sometimes got angry with Joseph Smith for telling them things that the Lord wanted them to do that were "too hard," I'm going to try harder not to do that. I'm going to try harder not to grumble, mumble, and inwardly rebel against my beliefs and convictions that I know to be true. Hopefully one of these days I'll actually be able to tell a difference.

In the meantime, I guess I just beg the rest of the world to remember that I'm still trying. Please remember that I'm human too and I'm just trying like everyone else to do the right thing..and that I'll mess up every now and again.

I feel kind of like the Little Engine that Could: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...